I Want to Make Art

Act I


I want to make art

I want to make something that expresses something deeper and more profound than can be easily understood by a quick glance

I want to make objects and images that connect with viewers of all ages and backgrounds

I want to touch on universal truths and concerns and tug at the deep hidden threads that connect us all together

I want to add a personal touch, one that is unmistakably my own vision and, while maybe not an original idea an original reading

I want to do these things that come from deep thought and understanding, learning from those who have come before me

understanding intent of past artists and creators and thinkers and writers and philosophers and leaders and the common thought

I have these visions of what art can be and can do

I want to make art, but my mind is a seemingly inaccessible wing of an abandoned building set for demolition

The internal actors in my mind see our concerns and desires differently than I the the pilot do

With their guidance, instead of deep thought my time is spent watching videos posted by strangers on the internet

Time spent understanding has been devoted to the intricacies and chance related to off-color video game sprites

Best methods for recreating various styles of fried food offered by various fast food chain restaurants

What vape is the most cost effective and how specific models have specific failures and shortcomings

The history of cocktails and how to make them

Personal opinions on a newly released update to a game I do not enjoy playing

Tips and tricks for music production for a program I have pirated

Ultra condensed summaries of classic literature set to animatics

The best high end luxury coffee grinder

And all these things and more fill my time, until the day is over, dinner must be prepared and consumed, Seinfeld must be watched, and sleep must be had, for I have an early shift at work in the morning

This cycle continues, artistic thoughts sent to rest in my phones notes application

Usually nothing more than a fun concept for something that amounts to more decoration than art.

I want to make art that comes from thought

either conceptual or material

to make art that has a statement, about an idea or convention

I want to make art but I don’t know how

Act II


I want to make art

At university and life, we learn of the great, famous artists and their legacy

Do I want to be one of these intellectual rockstars

Do I want to make art to conflate my ego

to prove I have something important to say

to hold up something and say look at this world i made this

to post images of my work from my phone for fifty or so people to say they like it

Is the ultimate goal to survive of off the artistic idea of manual labor

or is there some greater force compelling individuals to create endlessly regardless of reception

At this moment in time is it ethical to pursue individual success through means of art

even efforts towards selling and compiling money for donation seems veiled in a shroud of self interest

While the world we live in demands monetary factors to allow change

Shouldn’t change come from action

has a painting or sculpture truly done as much as a protest or uprising

While we have evil spirits inhabiting aged skin suits arguing over just how little the poor should get

why am I concerned with my own artistic output

I want to make art, but maybe I don’t understand why

When looking inward for reasons to create, what should that reason be

When held up and examined from the outside, are these reasons as noble as we think they are

Is it good to make truly personal and critical work that ends up sitting for ever in a corner of some room

or bought and sold by these same evil spirits, nothing more than a tool for increasing net worth

possibly bought and sold never to be seen by the involved parties

living in a wooden box, driven from state to state, country to country, by artists without as much luck or connection

I want to make art, but what’s the point



I want to make art

I did pay roughly $60,000 to learn how to make art

I do have memories from my childhood always drawing and thinking conceptually

I do appreciate the beauty of the natural world and how others interpret it

I enjoy reading poetry, looking at art, learning and being moved

I enjoy meeting other artists, of all practices, and our shared experience of entering the creative realm

As stated above, I am currently at a loss on how to accomplish this goal

I have done it before, and it always feels like the last time

As if I have finally done it, finally truly expressed myself

Having had these thoughts and feelings towards art and the art world ruminating in my mind

in between moments of eating sleeping working and relaxing

I began to wonder how could i express these ideas

I had the idea to maybe write a paper, just get all the ideas out so I can reflect on them and maybe move on

but maybe this can be art

maybe I’m making art

maybe I’ll hire somebody off of craigslist to read this, possibly giving it a more objective view

maybe I’ll frame it as a play, I’ve always enjoyed he language and drama involved

maybe I can use past work as a starting point to create a visual language, based on external sources


I want to make art.